Tuesday, April 19, 2011

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"?

These past 8 months have been the craziest months of my life. A lot has happened. A lot has happened that if I could have my way I would hope that no one else would have to experience what I have experienced. I have experienced having to say goodbye (or see you later), as my last blog talked about, to some of the closest people in my life. I have seen my dad go from a healthy 52 year old man to being confined to a wheel chair. All  because some idiotic 22 year old decided that it would be a good idea to get smashed and drive home. I have been heartbroken for one of my closest friends. And experienced even more heartbreak because I couldn't be there for him like he was for me.  I have seen and experienced stress like never before.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." This is the saying that is running through my head over and over again right now. The problem is I'm not sure how to respond. I would like to say this is true, and in most cases it very well could be. But have I grown from all of these things? I know that is not a question that any one else can answer but I'm just not sure. My life seems like it is at a stand still right now.

I miss having my best friends around all the time. But at the same time I have made more friends since I have moved home. I hate seeing my dad in a wheelchair but my dad is at a place spiritually that he has never been before. I have been able to help him through that process. It has been amazing!

Back to the question though. Have I grown any stronger? I think that I can say I have. I have a new perspective on life. A new found appreciation for the things that I have been so blessed with. I couldn't ask for better friends. I couldn't ask for a better family. I have been required to grow up much faster then I expected but that is not a bad thing at all. I have been able to see my big sister get married to an amazing guy and someone that I am very proud to be able to call my brother.

Life has definitely been a roller coaster ride in the last 8 months. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." It is an interesting saying. One that I am not quite ready to give a sure answer to.